Finding the person you want to spend the rest of your life with is rare. Not everyone is lucky enough to meet and fall in love with someone who’s perfectly in sync with their quirks, so you shouldn’t let this person go. This could be around the time you should consider if you want to look into marriage.
However, you shouldn’t misunderstand the situation. You could be happily satisfied with your relationship without ever having to sign a marriage contract. Still, there’s also nothing wrong with wanting to put a ring on your partner’s finger. That said, there are some things that you should talk about before ever considering marriage.
Most couples stray away from the hard conversations, but that’s already a mistake on their part. If you’re truly determined to spend the rest of your life with this person that you claim to love with your whole heart, then you shouldn’t be afraid to talk about the topics that make you uncomfortable.
After all, you’ll have to talk about these things at some point, so you might as well get a head start. Giving a full disclosure about every aspect of your life isn’t necessary, but there are topics that you should at least discuss before you sign your name on the marriage contract. This includes your:
State of Finances
A lot of marriages end in divorce, and many of them involve money problems. It could be that one person didn’t disclose how much debt they were in before agreeing to marry the other or something like that. Money problems usually start as small fights that snowball into bigger fights before they spiral out of hand.
Of course, this is not to say that you should begin every relationship with a prenuptial agreement because that can be a huge turn-off. However, if you think that your relationship is getting serious enough that you’re considering marriage, then you might want to consider disclosing the state of your finances.
But keep in mind that relationships are two-way streets. It can’t just be you giving and your partner taking. Since you’re being honest about your finances, you should try to encourage your partner to do the same. This way, you’ll be setting a solid foundation for your future marriage that’s built on honesty and mutual respect for one another.
Health and Well-being
If you’re planning to build a family with your partner, then you might want to discuss your health and well-being because that’s crucial to creating a healthy family. This is especially true since you’ll be passing off your genes to the child you’re going to make together, so it might be worth talking about.
This would be the right time to mention any diagnosed food allergies, chronic illnesses in the family, or serious health conditions that may affect your ability to bear a child. It would be responsible to disclose any information relevant to your future life together, especially because you’re planning to create a family.
And like in the previous conversation, you should also encourage your partner to be honest about their health and well-being because you have to know what you’re getting yourself into. Besides, you wouldn’t want to impose anything on your partner without having the chance to talk about it, so consider discussing these topics before deciding to get married.
Since you’re already thinking about marriage, you likely know each other well enough to meet one another’s blood-related and chosen families. Having a good understanding of one another’s family relationships and home situations when you were growing up is important to consider before you decide to marry.
This is because most people carry whatever skills, traits, and personalities they had at home into their own lives. Of course, this doesn’t apply to everyone, but very few can stray away from the lives they’ve grown up living. So, you might want to learn about each other’s familial relationships beforehand.
By taking this extra mile in your relationship, you’ll also be getting to know the families you’re marrying into. But this isn’t made to scare you into backing out. If anything, it’s preparation so that you know what you’re going to face in the name of marrying the love of your life. This will strengthen your relationship even further.
It’s not easy talking about the hard conversations. After all, that’s why they’re called hard conversations. But the fact that they’re hard to talk about makes them even more crucial because these topics matter. If you don’t take the time to discuss the things that make you uncomfortable, then you’re going to face a rough road ahead of you.