No one ever said being married is a piece of cake, especially because you’ll have to live with another person. Fortunately, it just so happens that it’s the love of your life you’re going to live with, but that doesn’t make adjusting easier. So if you need some help, here are three tips that can help you manage your home life better:
Divide the Household Chores and Maintenance
Now that you’re married, you’ll be in charge of managing your own household because your parents are no longer there to do it for you. But don’t buy into the gender stereotypes that women should be the ones to take care of the household while men go to work and provide for their families.
It’s the 21st century; men and women can both earn a living, which means they should both keep their houses well-maintained. Of course, such household assignments would only be accepted if you were to sit down to discuss the chore division to make sure that everything is equally divided.
Don’t assume that you will just slide into your gender roles because that can cause serious problems later in your relationship. So instead of leaving clues about what you want or being passive-aggressive, you can develop a well-balanced system that takes your strengths and weaknesses into account.
For instance, your spouse can be in charge of overseeing the electrician when they come to install a home generator, and you’ll be in charge when someone comes in to clean your HVAC ducts. You can take turns cooking dinner, doing the dishes, or folding the laundry. The important thing is to learn how to communicate and listen.
Allow Yourself to Get Used to Each Other’s Habits
Imagine that every time your spouse comes home from work, they have a habit of leaving their socks on the floor and forgetting all about them. And during the first few times, you didn’t mind picking them up because it’s a fairly small argument to make in the grand scheme of things. But then it kept happening.
That small thing can snowball into a huge avalanche when you’ve had too much to bear for far too long, which can lead to you exploding in anger. These tiny annoying habits at home are what you may not have witnessed during your time as a couple, especially if you didn’t live together before marriage.
You could bottle all your emotions up and work through them alone, or you can communicate these emotions to your spouse. After all, you’ve vowed to be each other’s shoulder to lean on. You can’t walk on eggshells your entire life, so you have to learn how to talk and listen to one another without judgment.
This won’t mean that you’re trying to change each other, but you have to compromise on certain things, such as not triggering pet peeves and letting go of annoying habits. Over time, you’ll get used to each other’s quirks and habits. But until then, you both need to be patient and understanding.
Make Room for Some Precious Alone Time
Being married doesn’t mean you should be attached at the hip 24/7 because that can drive anyone crazy. Spending some time on your own doesn’t mean you will love each other any less; it just means that you love and trust one another enough to give each other the space to breathe.
So don’t be afraid to tell your spouse that you need some alone time and encourage them to do the same. Not only can alone time be healthy for relationships, but it’s also a good way to make the heart grow fonder. If you’re together all the time, you won’t have the chance to miss being in their presence or crave to be in their arms.
Always remember to spend some time focusing on yourself. Reignite your passions; cook, paint, play sports, sing, or do some yoga. How you spend your alone time is entirely up to you. If you just want to lie in bed, eat some ice cream, and watch tearjerker movies, then so be it.
Remind your spouse to respect your alone time and show them that you’ll do the same for them because even in marriage, it’s important to set boundaries. There’s no such thing as perfect home life, and there shouldn’t be one because nobody is perfect. So, you can expect relationships to be perfect too.
Rather than aspire for perfection, strive to make life at home that works for you and your spouse. Your life at home isn’t meant to please anyone other than yourselves, so don’t be tempted to keep up with the appearances of a picture-perfect couple. Live your married life the way you want to and just be.